


Thorin's Journey: An Unexpected Hobbit

by xanemarths



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Thorin Has No Sense Of Direction, slightly more animal-like hobbits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 09:25:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15216146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanemarths/pseuds/xanemarths
Summary: Thorin knew quite well what he was getting himself into, thank you very much. He knew precisely where he was going, and he knew exactly what sort of creature he was expecting.As in turns out, he's quite wrong on both counts.





	Thorin's Journey: An Unexpected Hobbit

**Author's Note:**

> I can't remember where, or even if it's true, but I feel like I heard somewhere that Hobbits, in the early days before Lord of the Rings, were generally perceived as more... animal-like? with their fuzzy feet and burrows and pointy ears, and that Tolkien wasn't as fond of this interpretation, so he went and made it more clear that they were meant to be human-like the second time around.
> 
> However, I am a furry, and Tolkien is dead, so if I want to write about mostly gerbil-based Hobbits that are initially mistaken as being more human-like then so be it.

It felt as though an Age had passed since Thorin had entered Hobbiton, and privately, he thought with a scowl, it very well could have. The wizard had promised a fourteenth member of his company, and told him that he should be easy enough to find, by the mark on his door. You can sense the mark, right, Thorin?

And yes, of course he could sense the mark! Out there, somewhere, he could feel it clear as day: _Burglar wants a good job, plenty of Excitement and reasonable Reward_. Only a fool would be blind to its calling!

It's just. Well. These blasted burrows, with their _dirt_ , and their _gardens_ , all of it was simply messing with his stone sense! Yes! This was definitely what threw him off.

It didn't help that all the Hobbits there were seemed to have retired early to their little burrows, and from the sound of it and the merry lights in their windows, they had all settled down for supper. Thorin, for his part, cared not for supper (okay, well, maybe he did, just a little bit, but only if the rest of his Company hadn't already managed to ravage the Burglar’s pantries by now, which they probably had); he had one destination and one destination only in mind, and by Mahal he would get there, and he would not sit down to have a “all my tears have run dry forever probably and so I shall brood darkly and menacingly for a moment, even though I insist that's totally not what I look like when doing it”, nor would he ask for _fucking directions._

...Okay, maybe if he had one less shred of pride or one of the Hobbits came out of their holes, he would ask. But they didn't, and he had too much pride to knock on any old unmarked door, so he didn't.  
Instead, he continued on his way, round and round, passing by doors over and over again - and decided to brood on what Gandalf had told him of Hobbits to prepare him.

Well, firstly, the wizard had compared them to Men, only a great deal smaller - “often averaging a foot smaller than you Dwarves,” he'd explained, and Thorin had nodded with sage wisdom. Yes, small, that would be useful for a burglar. The Burglar could probably squeeze themself into cracks and crevices even their smallest or stealthiest dwarf could not. “However, while they might have the same face and general structure of a man, that is about the end of their similarities. They have rather large and hairy feet, which they prefer to leave bare - but you will find that those feet are quiet and stealthy enough for a burglar, despite their size. Far quieter than any old Dwarf tramping about.”

Thorin was quite sure that Nori had taken offense to that, but one former thief who was quiet by Dwarf Standards might not be quite as quiet when strapped down with a good deal of armor, supplies, and heavy boots. A tiny, shoeless creature was probably even stealthier!

“They also have rather pointed ears - don't look like that, they're not the same as elf ears, and they are rather good for hearing small yet distant noises!” Could these Hobbit creatures get any better? He'd been practically sold!

“They tend to eat a lot, though. They metabolize far faster than most, so their bodies need the energy - a Hobbit can eat six full meals a day, and they'll still only be pleasantly plump.”

Okay, so, maybe the food was a problem. But then Gandalf mentioned that a fast metabolism meant a warm core, which meant that a trusting Hobbit also made a delightful hot water bottle, and Thorin could have gushed over that - all without changing his stony serious face!

“They do appreciate digging, as well, though most Hobbits prefer to dig in soil than stone. Far easier for them. You know, they often like to dig out their own homes? The one we’re visiting, his was dug out by his father.”

Now, in the present, Thorin passed by a particularly lively burrow, and had the briefest moment where his face didn't look like a brooding figure carved out of rock. In all honesty, all these little burrows were just a bit… charming!

“And by goodness, do not let them hear you calling it a ‘burrow’. It is known as a _smial_ , and you shall call it as such, lest you offend your good host.”

...Smial. The smial was charming, especially with its little green door, and the cheers, and the music from within. Were he the partying type, were this not a land of strangers who certainly disliked company of outsiders, were he not on some important mission… He might like to go inside.

He passed it by twice more before he realized that there was a mark on the door.

Whatever they'd been singing ends in a cheer just as he reached the door, and Thorin almost felt rather put off as he knocked, which surely made him out to look grumpier than usual. He would have liked to join in on their song, too…

No matter. As he waited another Age for the Hobbit to actually open the door, Thorin imagined once again what the creature must look like, for he'd never seen a Hobbit before. Just like a smaller man, with pointy-but-not-elf-like ears and slightly larger feet that had some curly hair on the tops. Yes, that felt about right! He could see it now…

The door opened with a very unsubtle annoyance, and the creature Thorin found himself facing was nothing like he'd been imagining.

Well. Maybe it was? Kind of? He could see now why Gandalf said that Hobbits had the face of a Man, but not much else - this was definitely something like a Man's face, and yet...

And yet.

One Hobbit foot thumped the ground in impatience, and Gandalf had been right when he said they were _large and hairy_ \- but Thorin hadn't imagined that to mean “legs covered in literal fur, balancing on their toes, heels up to just under where the knees should be.” He didn't know that the not-elf ears would be quite so long, quite so pointed, quite so capable of pressing themselves down flat enough that even someone who'd never read non-human body-language in their lives could sense their owner's disappointment. He certainly hadn't imagined any tails to be involved, long and thin with a wispy end that bristled and lashed over the floor anxiously.

And yet, that's who was there, staring at him, and so Thorin stared back, thoughtfully, appraising him. The Hobbit stood there, the arm that wasn't holding the door open loosely curled close to their chest. Thorin could see it now, the way their fingers seemed to form shovels that could very easily scoop through large quantities of dirt if need-be, the way their new Burglar kept their arms close unless situation called for it.

Gandalf had said the Hobbits would sometimes dig out their own smials, that they preferred to dig in dirt. By Mahal’s forge, it seemed he was absolutely right - these were definitely the digging type.

**Author's Note:**

> Thorin is a man with a wide range of emotions but all the expressiveness of an art expression meme where the artist just copy-pasted the same image over and over and made only minor changes.
> 
> It's been a long while since I saw the movie, so if details are off, I apologize. I definitely took the Burglar Looking For Hire line directly as it was said in the book; given today's text-speak Capitalizing For Emphasis, reading about the desire for Excitement and also Reward was absolutely hilarious.


End file.
